The Big Day

I should be lying on my bed now, sleeping soundly.
But I couldn't.

TOMORROW is the big day.
TOMORROW will be my very first operation in my life.
(I never had even one stitch on my body before, touchwood)
TOMORROW is the day.

I couldn't help but keep thinking what will it be tomorrow.
How will I feel tomorrow, on the surgery bed.
Will it be painful?

I'm trying my very best to act really strong in front of those of my friends who know about the surgery.
Telling them everything will be okay, telling them not to worry since its just a small surgery.
Repeating these felt like me telling myself the same things.
I'll be alright, don't worry, it's just a small tiny operation.

But to be honest, I'm scared.
I'm really scared of pain. Please please please be less painful tomorrow.
I couldn't act all strong-up, and keep smiling while telling everyone what happen.
But I tried.
I'm afraid of the process for me lying on the surgeon bed and being push into the surgery room.
Please, I rather walk into the surgery room instead of being push into.
So, let's hope I'll have to walk into them tomorrow. Haha!

Oh, I kept telling people to be optimistic and appreciate things in life.
So let me appreciate some part of my body before I have to say goodbye to them tomorrow.
(Copy XiaXue's pattern in Dayre, paiseh)
- Dear mole, after tomorrow you will not be at the same spot anymore. Goodbye and thank you for being a mole.
- Dear little part of my skin, thanks for being with me so long. Goodbye!
- Dear cell, I didn't hate you for growing abnormally. Thanks for letting me have the chance for a small operation.
- Dear body, thank you for being with me and didn't runaway.

Alright. I think this is it for the current post. I really have to try to sleep now. I have to wake up at 6am tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Oh ya, dear friends who plan to visit me tomorrow,
PLEASE DON'T COME.
Ya, you, I'm talking to you Phang Munchy and all the animals.
Please don't come.
Please don't waste unnecessary petrol all the way here.
I'll find you guys when it's less painful.
I'll be fine.
No need to worry about me. :)
I'd still be the happy and joyful me you'll see when I see you next time.

Alright alright, I better shut up before I add another paragraph in this post.
Haha, ciao! :)

Being positive is the key of being happy. 

P.S.: Dear Ms. X, be happy!

Think positive.

I can do it, why can't you?

:) 

我，不想長大。

大家都說：'小時候我們哭著哭著就笑了； 現在我們卻笑著笑著都哭了。'

我不想長大。

我不想像其他朋友那樣那麼期待畢業。

我不想出去黑暗的社會。

我不想面對那麼多壓力。

我不想靠自己。

我想停留在現在這個時段，或回到從前從前。

我想輕輕鬆鬆打打鬧鬧的過日子。

我想依賴著家人朋友。

可是，我們都長大了。

跟朋友們的話題已改變到「你同事怎樣、工作怎樣、什麼時候買屋子」等等的成人話題。

就連從小就一起玩家家樂的小表妹也要考車上大學了。

童年，離我們越來越遠了。

我們長大了。

今年年中，我就畢業了。

成為社會上所謂的'失業人士'了。

找工、應徵、開工、壓力，全都會在今年開始。

我不想。我不敢。

我，不想長大。

I hope Peter Pan really do exist. 

To bring me away from the process of "growing up". 

P.S.: I finally got to blog!! I finally ended all my exams!! 

I'm gonna spam my blog, beware! 

I'm Sorry

Stupid surgery clashed with all my activities. My friends and I registered as a group into a CIMB Challenge on March, ngam ngam 2 days after the surgery. Blame me, i didn't check the calendar properly when I told them I'm on. I forgotten this month is February and I thought this month have 31 days (stupid me), so I have around a week time to stay at home and rest. And it turns out to be 2 days after my surgery!! How am I going to run and jog along with other participants??! Well, I'm more worried for my group tho. They was really happy and excited that our group got shortlisted into the competition, like few hours ago. Yen was cheering and getting so excited for it. And now I have to ruin their excitements. Mum said better not to join because the wound will get infected and later got problem blablabla, which is the truth. Gosh, how am i suppose to tell them??! Only few of my friends knew about this surgery, but not them. And now I need to tell all of them about the surgery, as my reason to drawout. wtf. I was this close to the RM5,000 prize. Goodbye. I'm sorry, my teammate. I'm sorry, Fantastic Four.