我的她

看見外婆憔悴的樣子，心真的是該死的痛。

怎麼瘦了那麼多？怎麼那麼蒼白？

那麼健康的一個人，怎麼突然間病倒了？

Fear

Do you ever afraid of picking up the phone? 

Yes, I do. 

Especially phone calls from the family. 

Not long ago, I got a call from my dad, telling me that our house got robbed. 

Few days later, I got another call from mum, saying that my brother got into an accident. 

And a fortnight later, I got a call from my mum again, telling me that my grandma was admitted to the hospital. 

Bad news, bad news and bad news. 

The heart sinks whenever the teller id shows "Mum" or "Dad"now. 

It's like a habit now, to mentally prepare myself for any bad news before answering those calls. 

I guess,

Fear of picking up phone, is in one of the point in my "Fear-List" now. 

P,S,: Dear grandma, please stay strong. 

I'll go back and visit you very soon! :) 

Is this what I really want?

I don't know. 

I feel lost. 

I enjoy what I'm currently doing, 

but I can't see my future doing this job for long-term. 

Don't get me wrong. 

I love my work now, not because of the job, 

but because of the colleagues around me. 

I need a job that I enjoy working, 

because of the job, 

and the colleagues around me. 

P.S.: And most probably a job less overtime needed. 

I've been working from 8.30am to 8.30pm daily,

without OT being paid! 

:/ 

Dying

First I was dying to finish high school and start college. 
And then I was dying to finish college and start working. 
And then I was dying to marry and have children. 
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work. 
And then I was dying to retire. 
And now, I am dying.. and suddenly I realize I forgot to live. 
-- Anonymous   

A reminder to myself and my friends,
Work to live, not live to work.

Work To Live, Live To Work?

Started working at 8.30am, and left office at 8.30pm (Monday). 12 FREAKING LOOOONG HOURS.
And now I left 12 hours (8 hours sleep + 1 hour shower and makan + 3 hours relax time) before I back to work again tmr.
*sigh*
Why is working life so lifeless?
Where do working adults find their entertainment?
I hate this kind of life, a whole damn lot.

I have two Joanns in me.
Sometimes I enjoy working.
Some other times I hate my work. 
Sometimes I feel that I can work here for years.
Some other times I feel that I want to quit the next day. 
Sometimes I prefer working rather than staying at home doing nothing.
Some other times I prefer slacking at home and not working. 
Sometimes.
Sometimes I just want to quit so badly, since the 24 hours notice period is so tempting.

P.S.: Today, the Joann in me, 

doesn't want to go work tomorrow. 

其实朋友，也不过如此而已。

“你不值得我对你投资那么多时间，因为他是将要陪我度过一辈子的人，不是你。”

其实当你对我说出这句话的同时，我真的对你很失望。
说什么狗屁当一辈子的好朋友，其实都只是在你遇到某个更重要的人之前的话。

P.S.: 慢慢疏远有你的世界，我过的一样那么好。