My Playlist

February 26, 2014

Post-Surgery

"Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sama sambuddhassa,
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sama sambuddhassa,
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sama sambuddhassa"

I have no idea how many times I've repeated chanting this inside my heart since today morning.
I've never been so afraid in my life before.


Yes, I was being pushed into the goddamn surgery room.
There were 2/3 big lights shinning the surgery bed while I was lying on the bed. I felt like I was one of the victim in On Call 36 that are preparing to undergo a surgery. Haha, just trying to think positive in the room.
My whole body were trembling while I was on the surgery table or bed. What you call it?
Non-stop trembling. The surgery room is so damn cold that I seriously think that Polar bears can live inside.
Looking at 3 nurses on my left hand side, preparing the surgical equipments.
One of them started inject several needles in me and inserted some tube to let the sterile water drip into my body.
It was the "pain-est" injection I've ever done! Friends who know me, they knew that I'm not afraid of needles but I was, today.
I had 4 NEEDLES only on my left side of body wtf.
and 2 more at my right.

So after the needles part being settled, the surgeon put a mask over my mouth and told me to inhale, it was the oxygen to keep me alive throughout the surgery.
I still remember vividly before my surgery, my "Doktor Bius" gave me an agreement to sign before the surgery. She also explained what's the pros and cons and what might happen to me during the surgery. So, I've been told about the process of surgery. I will be put to "sleep" and then they'll put some tube into my throat. WTF. All I can do was to imagine the whole thing, when she told me that. *Scared the hell out of me*

So, come back to the surgery.
After I started getting used to breathe using the mask, the surgeon told me that she'll start to add in the drug to let me fall asleep.
I guess within 3 seconds I fell asleep.
When I woke up, it was already over and I was back to my ward, with my parents.
So, everything's fine.
Not that painful afterall. =)
Thank you God, for listening to my prayers last night.
Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu! 

I took quite a lot of pictures to remember this special moment. LOL but most of 'em were too ugly or bloody. So, I'll just upload one less bloody and without my huge tired face in it. Luckily I brought along a book with me so I can read while I was waiting for my turn to operate. 


Besides, a big thank to my mum and dad and brother. I've been exempted from doing any housework. Hoho! Thank you my bro for doing everything for me, even taking my handbag. LOLOL Now I have perfect reason to sleep as long as I want, and watch drama as long as I could. Badass. But I do hope this pain and cramps will cure asap, so I don't have to trouble them for doing things for me. =)

Alright. Enough update about my day.
Time for some drama! =)

Oh, nearly forget. I MUST PROMOTE blood donation liao. People, citizens! Please go for blood donation whenever you're ready! I've just donated thrice, and yet I entitled a total FREE OF CHARGE surgery! So many injections and the surgery that normally cost a ton, unexpectedly, free of charge!! Go go, donate blood! :)

P.S.: Thanks all friends for calling me and texting me.
Muchas gracias!
I'm fine now.
Roarr!

February 25, 2014

The Big Day

I should be lying on my bed now, sleeping soundly.
But I couldn't.

TOMORROW is the big day.
TOMORROW will be my very first operation in my life.
(I never had even one stitch on my body before, touchwood)
TOMORROW is the day.

I couldn't help but keep thinking what will it be tomorrow.
How will I feel tomorrow, on the surgery bed.
Will it be painful?

I'm trying my very best to act really strong in front of those of my friends who know about the surgery.
Telling them everything will be okay, telling them not to worry since its just a small surgery.
Repeating these felt like me telling myself the same things.
I'll be alright, don't worry, it's just a small tiny operation.

But to be honest, I'm scared.
I'm really scared of pain. Please please please be less painful tomorrow.
I couldn't act all strong-up, and keep smiling while telling everyone what happen.
But I tried.
I'm afraid of the process for me lying on the surgeon bed and being push into the surgery room.
Please, I rather walk into the surgery room instead of being push into.
So, let's hope I'll have to walk into them tomorrow. Haha!

Oh, I kept telling people to be optimistic and appreciate things in life.
So let me appreciate some part of my body before I have to say goodbye to them tomorrow.
(Copy XiaXue's pattern in Dayre, paiseh)
- Dear mole, after tomorrow you will not be at the same spot anymore. Goodbye and thank you for being a mole.
- Dear little part of my skin, thanks for being with me so long. Goodbye!
- Dear cell, I didn't hate you for growing abnormally. Thanks for letting me have the chance for a small operation.
- Dear body, thank you for being with me and didn't runaway.

Alright. I think this is it for the current post. I really have to try to sleep now. I have to wake up at 6am tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Oh ya, dear friends who plan to visit me tomorrow,
PLEASE DON'T COME.
Ya, you, I'm talking to you Phang Munchy and all the animals.
Please don't come.
Please don't waste unnecessary petrol all the way here.
I'll find you guys when it's less painful.
I'll be fine.
No need to worry about me. :)
I'd still be the happy and joyful me you'll see when I see you next time.

Alright alright, I better shut up before I add another paragraph in this post.
Haha, ciao! :)


Being positive is the key of being happy. 

P.S.: Dear Ms. X, be happy!
Think positive.
I can do it, why can't you?
:) 

February 22, 2014

我,不想長大。

大家都說:'小時候我們哭著哭著就笑了; 現在我們卻笑著笑著都哭了。'

我不想長大。
我不想像其他朋友那樣那麼期待畢業。
我不想出去黑暗的社會。
我不想面對那麼多壓力。
我不想靠自己。

我想停留在現在這個時段,或回到從前從前。
我想輕輕鬆鬆打打鬧鬧的過日子。
我想依賴著家人朋友。

可是,我們都長大了。
跟朋友們的話題已改變到「你同事怎樣、工作怎樣、什麼時候買屋子」等等的成人話題。
就連從小就一起玩家家樂的小表妹也要考車上大學了。
童年,離我們越來越遠了。

我們長大了。
今年年中,我就畢業了。
成為社會上所謂的'失業人士'了。
找工、應徵、開工、壓力,全都會在今年開始。
我不想。我不敢。

我,不想長大。

I hope Peter Pan really do exist. 
To bring me away from the process of "growing up". 

P.S.: I finally got to blog!! I finally ended all my exams!! 
I'm gonna spam my blog, beware! 


February 12, 2014

I'm Sorry

Stupid surgery clashed with all my activities. My friends and I registered as a group into a CIMB Challenge on March, ngam ngam 2 days after the surgery. Blame me, i didn't check the calendar properly when I told them I'm on. I forgotten this month is February and I thought this month have 31 days (stupid me), so I have around a week time to stay at home and rest. And it turns out to be 2 days after my surgery!! How am I going to run and jog along with other participants??! Well, I'm more worried for my group tho. They was really happy and excited that our group got shortlisted into the competition, like few hours ago. Yen was cheering and getting so excited for it. And now I have to ruin their excitements. Mum said better not to join because the wound will get infected and later got problem blablabla, which is the truth. Gosh, how am i suppose to tell them??! Only few of my friends knew about this surgery, but not them. And now I need to tell all of them about the surgery, as my reason to drawout. wtf. I was this close to the RM5,000 prize. Goodbye. I'm sorry, my teammate. I'm sorry, Fantastic Four.

February 9, 2014

"Impossible Is Not A Word, It's Just A Reason For Someone Not To Try."

I miss blogging.
I need more time. 
Sorry blog, for not updating anything for quite a while. 
I'll be back in action two weeks later. 


Please, give me a good result for this semester. I'll die if my result drop too much. Nahhh, I'm just joking, but I'm serious about giving me a good result. Study hard, pray hard. Finger crossed. 

P.S: I need entertainment.
Desperately.