.

I don't know how to deal with this anymore. Dear God, please show me a way for me to settle this. 

I Feel Old.

It seems like yesterday, we welcomed 2015.
And 3 more days, we will step into the final quarter of the year.

Time flies. 

Especially when you're working.

3 more days, I'll be "celebrating" my very first anniversary with the Bank.
In a blink of eyes, I'm here, for a year.
But I still feel like I'm the new staff,
because I'm still a problem-baby, throwing tons of questions to the seniors, annoying them.
I wonder when I'll be as matured as them.
When can I be like my seniors?
And when can I earn that much like them?

Sigh.
Monday blues.
I hate Monday blues.
I hate that I have to deal with is every Sunday night.
I have no idea why but Monday blue hits me damn hard every Sunday night.
A pain in the ass.

Sigh.
Working life isn't like school where we can ditch class as we like.
Working life is full of responsibilities.
Full of due dates to meet.
And working in a bank, there are loads of rules to be followed.
Couldn't imagine my whole life working in such "over-regulated" workplace.

Sigh.
I'm 24 now and look at what I have in hands now?
Property?
Car?
Dream?
None. 
Looking at the cousins who are one year older than me, I felt ashamed.
They have their own house, own car, and where am I?
Still struggling, to even pay the family's bill.
How can I save money, fulfill my own dream,
when the family needs me to support?
How can I be this selfish to only think of my own dream?
Life's suck when you have no money.
But I will give everything to have this life all over again,
if I'm given a chance to choose again.
Because here, I have my family with me.

Sigh.
Can I not go to work tomorrow?
_____________________________________________________________

Love - Encounter

Couldn't get rid of the images I've came across when I went to the residential park with him yesterday around PJ.

The park is crowded with laughters of children, running around with their peers while me and him was sitting in the swing. At that moment, I've noticed a whole family (daughters, granddaughters,  grandson and a maid) along with an old grandmother (age around 80-90) were taking a walk in the park, with the grandma sitting on a wheelchair. While the grandson plays the classic 鄧麗君's songs, all of them were singing and humming the song with the old grandma. The grandma was smiling all through their walk. They really stands out in the park because they're in one big group of around 6-8 people surrounding the old grandma, singing, talking, laughing freely. (Which is kind of hard to encounter nowadays as we are too dependent on technologies)

The daughter then encouraged the grandma to stand up from the wheelchair and they held her with their hands, assisting her on her feet and holding her to walk. 

Trying her very best, she stood up. Trembling, she started to walk slowly. Having the kids and grandkids held her carefully in their hands, she continued singing with the brightest smile I've ever seen on an old lady. 

And the whole family continued to sing. I couldn't help myself but kept staring at them with a huge idiotic smile that was "fixed" on my face. What a lucky day, I thought, for us to be able to witness this fantastic moment. It's a shame that my phone battery died before I have the chance to capture such heart-warming moment. But I do, capture it in my heart. 

Love is better when you put down all your gadgets and distractions. People, time to look up! 

Missing my beloved grandma too, after writing this "love-encounter" moment down. 

Loves.